pandev
Feb 24 2009, 17:09
Les lyrics :
NOW I LAY
Pump it up if you came to get it krunk
With a dame and shit that's drunk, you came to get it onnnnnn'
That's when it all got started (I mean)
Back then I wasn't so cold hearted
With every stanza came an extravaganza
For every question he got one less answer
I was tryin' to be more than cool
Nah it was before that, maybe boarding school
That was back when I would want to danger myself
Maybe it was just to entertain myself
I don't need help, I could change myself
Fuck ya'll, I ain't got to explain myself
Death's around the corner, I could hear his footsteps
Does he think that I'm the only nigga in the hood left
So tell any listener of mine
For twenty eight years been a prisioner of the mind
(Hook 2x)
Now I Lay me down to sleep (And I)
I pray the Lord my soul to keep (If I)
If I should die before I wake (Then I)
I pray the Lord my soul to take (I mean)
(Verse 2)
Welcome everybody into, ?? with a self proclaimed sinner
Even when he can't win, that nigga won't surrender
Bulls fault, put the wheels in motion
I felt every emotion except devotion
Message in a bottle in the bottom of the ocean
But I can't swim, damn it I can't win
So I don't care how you rate me
It'd take a long time to evaluate me
So if, this be the last time you hear me
Just know I got a loved one near me
Please don't cry, let a eye get teary
A nigga good, finally I'm somewhere care free
Past is frightening but the futures scary
And I'm, gettin' to the point that I fear me
In a class all alone, don't compare me
But a, blame God this is where he steered me
(Hook 2x)
Now I Lay me down to sleep (And I)
I pray the Lord my soul to keep (If I)
If I should die before I wake (Then I)
I pray the Lord my soul to take
(Verse 3)
They tell me that eyes is the window to a mans soul
So if you happen to see a nigga gain control
And I turned to def ear
To any nigga anybody that'll get my head clear
Why shake the dice if you never gon roll
I told em, that the straight-jacket can't hold em
I ain't phsyco, don't belittle me now
It's just the title cause they couldn't figure me out
If you give a damn when shit hits the fan
Please know anything I ever did a nigga planned
Tryin' to ??, high as ever
So learned how to lie to a lie detector
Still I'm damaged
They say if you stay in that boat long enough you'll see where the land is
So I'm right where I need to be
Please believe it believe it please, let's get on our knee's
(Hook 2x)
IF I GOTTA GO
If i gotta go
can anybody tell me where
and if i gotta go
does anybody even care
lo look look
we gon party like its one nine nine nine
somethin triggers makin my mind design crime
when at times my minds fine inclinded to find dimes
resigned from primetime
i need my stars to align when signs say they benigne
tell whoever cares if a stray happens to hit me
i need to take all the money i made with me
if im heaven bound i'll put a hole in every turncoat
if hell bound im poppin shit thru the inferno
my jargon is im an arsonist
since 11 when i found out what arson is
look at me fully styled in that foreign whip
i get a high from it love that johnny carson shit
i got facsination for the aggrvation
shoot em or ????? I love the fabrication
waitin on a antedote but i lack the patience
on the second thought got my own vaccination
if i gotta go
can anybody tell me where
and if i gotta go
does anybody even care
problem is im smarter than everybody
but too numb to show it they too dumb to know it
eventually my a's turned into d's
eventually my o's made it's way to e
im tense im not at ease
theres niggaz with degrees
that aint never made it hot nor turned up the degrees
theres niggaz with credentials accolates paperwork
but couldnt figure out how to make they paper work
me i fight to stay alive everyday is work
especially when they say theres six million ways to murk
i wish the world was more like me
more likely to see thru the eyes that i see
or be tired like i be
lets hide our id's
theres holes in my arms
untied this iv
at times wish the world would comprehend like i do
know it sound like i dont wanna mend but i'd like to
if i gotta go
can anybody tell me where
and if i gotta go
does anybody even care
i wonder whats behind the clouds
flew all over the world still i couldnt find out
maybe im normal and everybody else isnt
apron on over the stove in hells kitchen
nails bitten failed livin
another derailed mission for a nigga jail smitten
enough to get the pound
if i dont like the shit around me
maybe i should change the shit that im around
how that sound
DONT MAKE ME
Top down with the fresh cut
With A. Baker (Anita Baker) through the speakers, 'Best Of'
A crisp white tee, I'm still feelin' dressed up
Everythin' else healthy, don't get me messed up
A good pair of shades on, you gon always see me in disguise
Not for style, I don't want you to seein' my eyes
But for now, tell God hurry my plans
Cause I just had to bury my man
Us two was on some brother shit
But if I learned anythin', if you take life for granted it'll grant you some other shit
I know I can't be the only one troubled with
I talk 'bout hard shit like I discovered it
Thought I had enough of it, still won't cut a wrist
I just wrote the book, he published it
Simply read holdin' back the years
Cause when I strayed, it looked like he holdin' back some tears, he sayin'
(Hook)
(Verse 2)
Sometimes I feel like it's a ghost behind me
Nudge in my back, got the toast behind me
Clockin' my every move, takin' notes behind me
Crowd laughin', there must be a 'Roast' behind me
But the boy won't bend
Though the road to the riches is startin' to look like it don't end
I'm on 9-5 speedin', truly love it
No idea where I'm goin', that's the beauty of it
But still I'm here waitin' on a sign
Or a F.Y.I. to be notified, cause (WHY)
Do it matter what he got it store for niggas if they too broke to buy
I know I want heart, my back carryin' some tons ya'll
From the devil's bedroom on to his front yard
Pop up in the backseat and keys the chauffeur
Let em know before I hop out with him on my shoulder, I said
(Hook)
(Verse 3)
Wouldn't be smart to tangle wit ya guardian angel
Not when they got a strangle from every angle, head to ankles
Get mangled, so I don't got shit
My eyes everywhere, on my Stuart Scott shit
Tryin' to be fly every second that the clock tick
But there's a suicide bomber in the cockpit
See my intent is to be content
But that's contingent off fly hoe's usin' ??
Since mama concieved me
Me and dude been stuck in a ??
He's tellin' me I gotta ball like Beasely
But I could give a fuck how a nigga percieves me
So until God retrieves me
I'm followin' behind the nigga that misleads me
If need be, bounce from where he tryin' to keep me
But everytime I try he tells me that he needs me
BLOOD ON THE WALL
how many niggaz fell victim to the streets
rest in peace lil nigga this is heaven for a g
i'd be a liar if i told you i that never thought of death
my nigga we the last ones left
how many niggaz fell victim to the streets
rest in peace young nigga this is heaven for a..
i'd be a liar if i told you i that never thought of death
my nigga we the last ones left
but life goes on
and i aint gonna stop til a nigga see blood on the wall
maybe it started with the rims on the whip
i lost a hummer pushed the benz thru the strip
i'll swim with the fish before i lend niggaz shit
cuz personally they aint worth the phlegm that i spit
thats why sometimes i think the ends coming quick
my old ass father shot twins out his dick
so if they so happen to come up without an older brother
wont be alone cuz comin up at least they'll have each other
at least they'll have one another cuz lifes a motherfucker
but while im here my only job is not to see em suffer
thru dopeboys shootouts stickups and undercovers
the world is full of suckers but dont worry im your buffer
buffer like i shoulda been for bj
but he never listened to nuthin we say
it was half past 12 midnight on a weekday
not even 20 hours past his release date
this nigga hit him up four times
one hit the heart
and that hit my heart
called his pops niggaz pick the phone up
so he come find his son lying in his own blood
on that block that we ran thru
house we grew up in corner we would post on
shot dead in front of niggaz we would be with
so how the fuck nobody see shit
and so im there to be a brother to his brother lucky
cuz in the belly of the beast i know this shit get ugly
get on my knees and have a convo with the lord above me
maybe sometimes i hear it wrong and think he's sayin fuck me
only he can judge me careless what they think about me
cuz honestly i'd be aight if noone ever loved me
i write i only fear joe in blood smeared slow on my brain
by my earlobe
and i aint gonna stop til a nigga see blood on the wall
all i tried do is raised the bar
see my weeks is scabbed up days are scarred
still i love to see a motherfucker hate from far
more they talk bout me the more i pray for yall
i mean
i dont get how prodigy gon acknowledge me
when the nigga bout as big as an apostrophe
for him to possibly think that he as hot as me
its far from a prophecy more like a mockery
used to be hiphop to me 'fore you bombarded me
with everything ass like sodimy its gotta be
drugs four fifths and snubs whats that about
nigga you cant lift the guns that you rappin bout
real talk i cant front on your old shit
now you just old as shit, now old and sick
instead of holdin my dick heres a better way
nevermind me worry bout your medicade
shits so unfair nigga beefs carried your ass your whole career
wanna blog? heres a reason
how the fucks murda muzik
anybody ever dissed this nigga is still breathin
jayz saigon nas already peeled him
tupac he aint alive but you aint kill him
50 signs the bum only cuz where he was from
put his stamp on a nigga and still nobody feels him
not a murderer or gangsta robber
washed up 90's nigga now a gangsta blogger
me that underground flow strike like the pound blow
your sounds old, not even worth a download
i would have niggaz hunt you like a hounds nose
problem is you pussy the whole town knows
so why let the body count grow
for some fiended out nigga now starring in the clown show
IN MY SLEEP
baby girl told me in my sleep i was talkin
so its only natural i asked her what i said
she said she woke up when she heard
but she was so damn tired she couldnt make out a word
she said she was tryna see if eventually i would scream the name of a bird
i told her thats absurd
and then gave her the face like word
and then she replied yeah
said it was quite weird
said she was type scared
i said thats a side effect that you get
when you trade bad dreams for some great nightmares
when i close my eyes
i escape the poltergeist
my escape from reality just what i needed
brings me to a place where shorty never cheated
and even if she tried and succeeded
in this other world i wouldnt even get heated
fuck the details i dont care about why
im chillin with my grandmother she aint die
i was browsing online and seen mike on a banner
that said you can be like me and beat cancer
anything i touched i feel
know its fiction but it feel so real
was leavin out the casino with a nympho
yes ray it can be so simple
heres how i avoid a problem with my kinfolk
learn how to build me a house with no win-dows
and thats when i think i saw a ribbon in the sky
but it wasnt from a intro
cuz where im at theres no rumors or gossip
and still got love for miss info
she said in my sleep i be laughin
but shit be funny to me
look my ice cream 200 degrees
if it drip i get a hole in my dungarees
see my anonyminity is my protection
and me and hiphop have no connection
which got me to reflecting
is that why the mirror wont show my reflection
when i close my eyes theres no dollars
so we can stress that one as an excuse
of why folks do the things they do
or why people act so brand new
i had wings on flying out of prison with a ratchet
was only there cuz someone snitched
look noones poor but noones rich
just my way of creepin if lifes a bitch
took a walk on the ceiling just to get my mind right
that was yesterday so in hindsight
since i was able to haul off
i took it as god tellin me ill never fall off
got rid of name brands and the jewelery
most people just use it as medicine
like it take em somewhere they aint never been
but here you better off not better than
stuck in a room with an elephant
opened a closet and dapped up my skeleton
had a convo with a man with no ears
and all of a sudden everything became so clear
have no fear
i just bought a first class trip to nowhere
everybody goes there but they dont stay the whole year
me i got 365 shows there
my girl said in my sleep i be walkin
so i asked baby where i go
she said i be walkin slow
but she dont ever wanna get out of bed so she dont know
i went to see a man walkin on water
asked if he'd ever get things back in order
i been there for two years over a quarter
but everytime i open my eyes its like torture
he said please i gave you a whole nother world
for you to go with as you please just so you appeased
mixed with a couple songs bout real life while you make believe
so i teleported out of there with a grin
met a bum with a mansion invited me in
then we politiced about politics
said somethin bout def jam i aint acknowledge it
i went to see a virgin with aids
yeah i thought about smashin that
yeah ass was fat so appealin
tattoo on her inner thigh said she doin better than she was feelin
i think i seen shorty before like maybe in a club or something
maybe in vip but wasnt nobody there but me
and the club was all red
then she started playing with my head
and then i came
then i asked shorty whats her name
and it was weird cuz she fucked around disappeared
like what a cruel joke
cig lit but from it was no smoke
flicked in a ashtray and seen stacks face
flash to a school hallway on a halfday
was gettin chased couldnt tell by who
then the hallway turned into a cliff
screamin piff before i was dead
some coward jumped my ass up out that bed
then baby girl told me in my sleep i was screamin
so i said thats a lie
she put her right hand in the sky
and said you was but i dont know why
gotta go, goodbye!
EXXXES
She don't got a name, so for now, let's call 'er Ashley
Had 'er gym clothes on, seen 'er when she passed me.
Met 'er up at Exxon, body was the nicest
Cursin' up a storm, she complainin' 'bout the prices.
She jus' left Toronto for Jers, brought a condo
Know everything about it an' we ever had a convo.
Pops wasn't round much, her mother raised 'er
Got so much in common that I don't like ta' face 'er.
Her parents is dope heads, she dropped outta' schoo' too
Got the same tats as me an' I fount' that unusual.
Mad at smoked cigs, said they bad for my own health
Said she'll never love me 'cause I don't love my own self.
Gave me the ass the first night an' I gladly tossed it (whoa)
Best part is I ain't even have ta' ask for it.
Her period don't ever come in
When I take 'er down she always run, but she be...
She be callin' my name
Screamin' real loud, I would think she in pain.
Niggas tried ta' tell me 'er head was insane
Everything she do, it take a toll on my brain.
It seem a lil' strange, but she be callin' my name...
Screamin' real loud, I would think she in pain.
Niggas tried ta' tell me 'er head was insane
Everything she do, it take a toll on my brain.
She like ta' scream, so the neighbors might hear 'er
For some reason like it in front of the mirror.
Let me make it clearer...
She be makin' strange requests an' I ain't talkin' 'bout jus' pullin' on 'er hair, uhhh.
She be sayin', "choke me" like I lost all respect (but...)
An' every time I do, marks show-up on my neck
She say punch 'er, smack 'er, (I mean...) like I'mma attack 'er (I mean...)
I say you a fool, I say jus' do what I asked'ja.
I be goin' slow until she tell me do it faster
Every time I'm out with her these niggas jus' harass 'er.
I don't understand it... she so unattractive
Shorty lookin' terrible, plus, she come with baggage.
I'll tap it, though she below my average it deceives me
She be talkin' marriage, sayin' she'll never leave me
I say I'mma bounce, but I say I don't believe me
She fu*ks me every time she sees me...
She be callin' my name
Screamin' real loud, I would think she in pain.
Niggas tried ta' tell me 'er head was insane
Everything she do, it take a toll on my brain.
It seem a lil' strange, but she be callin' my name...
Screamin' real loud, I would think she in pain.
Niggas tried ta' tell me 'er head was insane
Everything she do, it take a toll on my brain.
I be wantin' ta' strangle 'er
Throw 'er off the balcony, dangler 'er, mangle 'er
How long have I carried this anger fa'?
How come when we argue, we gotta get physical?
We crucial conflict, she end-up in critical.
Habitual, (I mean...) happens daily like it's our ritual
(But...) but show ya face bi*ch, stop bein' invisible!
Is it jus' my mental, is she jus' a symbol...
There for me to look at everything that I resemble.
Sometimes, durin' sex I've heard another name
Do that mean I'll look at me an' be ashamed?
(So...) I'm cheatin' on me wit' a hottie wit' a body
Who so happen ta' embody everything that I so happen ta' not be.
I be try'nna leave 'er, but then I get lenient
Since I'm in this room alone, she becomes convenient (whoa).
An' then we lie ta'gether, cry ta'gether
I swear, I hope we die ta'gether, 'cause...
She be callin' my name
Screamin' real loud, I would think she in pain.
Niggas tried ta' tell me 'er head was insane
Everything she do, it take a toll on my brain.
It seem a lil' strange, but she be callin' my name...
Screamin' real loud, I would think she in pain.
Niggas tried ta' tell me 'er head was insane
Everything she do, it take a toll on my brain.
Look...
I finally grew the balls ta' tell shorty we should separate
Save ya breath, nothin' you can do ta' make me hesitate.
Look, it's no room fa' you an' me ta' grow (so...)
Don't love me an' leave me alone, do both.
Then she... apologized for anything that she did
Said without me she kept thinkin' no reason ta' live.
Said she'll miss gettin' piped down (whoa!)
Then she picks-up a shank -
I had ta' tell the crazy bi*ch ta' put the knife down (put it down!)
Cryin', eyeshadow on 'er face, filthy
Feel me, if you kill you, it's gonn' kill me.
Really? She said, "you neglect me"
I said, "we the same soul, whatever you do is gonn' effect me."
You know I can't let it be (naw...)
So, if we gotta' stay together to let it co-exist, then so it is (so is!)
She said, "I love you" an' hugged me
Took 'er pants off an' proceeded ta' fuck me
COULDNT HELP IT
We had a beautiful relationship at one point
But then, that shit changed with the quickness
Maybe cause I was fuckin' other bitches
Or maybe we had no busniess havin' busniess
Not the girl that I would want to raise kids with
But still that shit happened regardless
I was so young, back then so heartless
And the shit I was thinkin' could of caught me some charges
Listen, I tried to talk to her normally
That shit didn't work for one second, she was on to me
I tried to explain, how I ain't have a dollar to my name
Pursuin' this rap shit, chasin' fame
Young dude stressed in the hood like Je-sus
I ain't ready for no child but she was
When you, piss poor get to havin' sick thoughts
While the chick probably sittin' there thinkin' bout marriage
I'm thinkin' abortion like a savage
On purpose accident to have a miscarriage
Her a mother of mine I couldn't end up seein'
Plus what type of mother would you end up bein'
You already a physco, I wouldn't let that pass
I ain't think lifetime bond, I thought fat ass
All them times you were pregnant and miserable
All them fights we had that got physical
Everytime I sent you packin', pissed at you
Like I ain't want to live wit you, yeah I kind of planned that
Ain't considerate, sounds just like me
Then you put someone out that looks just like me
I grabbed my little dude up, looked 'em in his eyes
And you can't understand right now I apologize
How couldn't I want you here, be that selfish
Fuck was on my mind at the time, my bad I Couldn't Help It
[Hook]
[Verse 2]
Now this is how you know we go through phases
Cause he done sold millions of records
Plus they done been together for ages
I don't really know how to say this
Me and old boy done shared a couple of stages
But he wasn't around when I saw her in Vegas
She said 'remember me?', I thought I should lie
I looked baby up and down and said 'should I?'
Maybe she my old broad, maybe she singer
I looked down seen a chunky rock on her finger
She said I'm 'blanks' wife, how you been and what you doin' here?
I should of asked her that same shit
Snoop had already told me that bitches ain't shit
And the industries so small, that's how the game is
When you famous, everybodys a bilingual plaintiff
And the defendant speaks one language
But we exchanged numbers like fuck it
All we gon talk about is music
Neither one of us will ever use it
But shorty she ain't hesitate to use it
Four A.M., where do I begin?
She's leavin' the club, I'm about to win
She's so aggressive like 'what room are you in?'
I ain't answer, she said meet her downstairs in ten
Now we totally disrespectin' his star
I'm with his bitch, and she in his car
She said hop in let's head to the strip bar
Bad ass friend with her, and then she kissed ma
And now I'm so confused
She starts tellin' me about how she's so abused
How he beats her ass, how he takes that figure
And I'm in my head thinkin' 'I don't blame that nigga'
We hit the club like everythin's wonderful
She touchin' me, I'm feelin uncomfortable
And then the DJ threw on somethin' slow
I'm grindin' on her friend, now she wantin' to go
Dude's wife started whisperin' in my ear
I'm startin' to see it clear, she don't care shorty's down with whatever
She said let's go to your room all together
I'm sure the two of us'll make it worth your wild
Now your friend looks great and I really want to fuck her
But I can't be your side dude, can't be your lover
Caught on my old school shit just to thug her
We got to the rubber, told her I ain't have a rubber
I thought it worked at first
One looked disappointed and one looked hurt
But her trifelin' ass went and made shit worse
She reached down pulled a few of those out her purse
Got on her knees started playin' with the head
All her dudes lyrics started playin' in my head
Her friend I'm sayin', probably feelin' left out
I'm filled with guilt because all I can think bout was
He have her on TV with your kids
I got her on the TV in her ribs
Please God forgive, regret what I did
That ain't the lifestyle I want to live, just then I Couldn't Help It
ADRENALINE
GIVE IT AWAY NOW!
L-look look look look look
I can't call it,
I always seem to take one step back within five steps forward,
nothing to gain, its like everything mortgaged,
ya'll can love me or ya'll won't, go ahead talk shit,
cautious(?), report shit, live out of hell,
see some of dudes either alive or outta jail,
won't fold, won't curl, no wonder all this weights on my shoulders,
i'm sitting on the bottom of the world,
they say, tears are words that your mouth can't speak,
rub up on every arc(?), a fire but can't reach,
I say, just learn you what the schools can't teach,
my job is to get a gospel that the church won't preach,
something like a rock star, keep the live band,
*(?)just saw my true religion for they're skin tight pants
ask on my white, them nikes sinclairs(?)*
i mean no accessories, the crime's been an accessory,
it's a thinking man's world, shit is chess to me,
so let the king move mean time, let it be
(Chorus)
(2nd Verse by someone who I do not know the name of)
It's a junkyard thing, to hunts(?) repping Jersey,
reversing psyche on life and do the mic dirty,
tired, hungry and thirsty, motherfuck fame,
matter of fact, when this verse ends forget my name,
it's the method, not the man,
the vision, not the plan,
no glits, no glam, just pure connection with the fans,
half your downloads get deleted with the spam,
these dudes keep it so real they come across fake,
straight boring, ignore these wack bastards,
approaching to forwards(?) as frauds(?) is ass backwards,
i just vividly spit it to pick it differently,
rip all the vodka, swig it then pissing on negativity,
the pen is mightier than the drinker,
strike em when I spit,
real catchy huh?, I don't even like that shit,
what I like, a rock flow that's liver, melotic
with a high dose of more(?) fire(?),
the fire and the rain, the fire in my veins is hot,
can't be stopped with fire brigades,
UUUHHHH!
no image,
i'm living every sentence im twisting into syllables slip slick that them hits that'll leave you lifted,(?)
all heart and gut,
feeling the hunts adrenaline rush, come on,
the shits heating up,
(Chrous)
(Budden)
L-Look look
I wear a K as a weapon,
eye in through scope 'case my foes at the top of my stair way to heaven,
and I, pop a big step, dressed in my fly shit,
ipod, headphones on bumping my shit,
i never cared, i was careless,
fear being afraid, OR maybe im afraid to be fearless,
OR fear being fearless but fearful,
so even in my carelessness, got to be careful,
I'm like, who's that looking threw my peephole?,
when did my alter-ego get a ego?,
he wants the rims chrome,
me im trying to push the pedal till my foot's on the ground like a flintstone,
bluetooth, my girl on the horn bickering,
but even though when she scream, i hear it like whispering,
i been around noise all my life,
i've been poised baby all my life,
just let me live my life,
live yours, make your own hot life,
then, meet me at the top like a butterfly knife,
then, learn how to see without eyesight,
if, at first you don't succeed then try twice,
see I don't write it I will it, reel it, real shit,
paint a masterpeice then unveil it.
come i'm 'bout to reveal it,
destroy it, rebuild it,
conceal it, before another nigga steals it,
milk shit, not a pessimist, im a realist,
when you think you on, I go and hit the killswitch,
(?)from a rockyian, eat eel bitch, ya face leaked all victim, just real shit,(?)
see i'm something they got to deal with
HAPPY HOLLIDAY
If they ain't tell me tomorrow was my birthday, I would never know
Understand I'm kinda bad with dates
I don't need a party but a nigga need cake
I got too much on my plate to celebrate
Whole family unemployed so income now a void
Foot in everybody's bills so naturally im annoyed
It's like the year kinda flew by
And like a fool I, sat back and scrutinized
I'm high beaming on a dark road
All my goals now ashes on chark coal
I spark stoves, disregard cautious
???? carrying cargo
No offense, I don't need a phone call or present
Honestly I don't want none of y'all present, look
I won't pretend like my everyday struggle just wanna
skip down the street like it's just any other day
[Hook: Emanny]
Everyday's the same to me
Seven days in every week
Some look forward to it, but I don't change
Just on the holiday
You can have your Christmas tree
Go get drunk on New Years Eve
Some look forward to it, but I don't change
Cuz everyday's a Holiday
If they aint tell me tomorrow was Halloween, i'd have never known
I never been the type to keep up with dates, so while
Everybody is puttin they mask on
Nigga I rock mine all year
Just to avoid stares
To come across as a nigga who cares, so to my peers
I could look like i'm really sincere
Yeah, everything's not what it appears
I fear being rare my costumes aware
I swear, I wont take it off like nair
Its weird, even when i take it off its near
To some my outfit is sheer, so out of spite they jeer
Cuz they know I see 'em all as mere
Don't love yall enough to let u see me bare
Let you see how he's impaired
Nah, i'm not there
We tend to run from anything weird
At least on halloween y'all will stay right there.....
[Hook]
If I didn't read it was Christmas, I'da never known
Maybe I'm wrong? I don't give a fuck about dates
So while everybody's unwrapping gifts, im trying to capitalize off mind
Just to get some shine
Or to recline while im still in my prime
Too many times in the ink game, I ain't have a dime
So I look at my friends with envy
Like for some reason them getting gifts would offend me
Like they ones was perfect, mine felt empty
They say that it's the thought that counts, I had plenty
Like why on thanksgiving my family would never visit?
Even when they did it always seem so splifted
Like they was forced too
That's more talk then the 365 days they ain't call you
I should act like I'm someone I'm suppose to
Holidays don't make me social!
[Hook]
DO TELL
Tell my mother I'm sorry never meant to hurt her
And even when I did I never meant to take it further
Tell my father I love him dot dot excedera
He used to give me advice like a plethora
I tried to find myself but I was your replica
I mean I always tried to be what u never was
Tell my older brother I'm bad at being a brother
I kno I never told you how highly I think of you
Tell my grandmother she always been a friend to me
I would've visited more if I wasn't so into me
Tell Trey his mothers an asshole
When you get older u might understand how that goes
Tell the hood I left not for greed of wealth
But for my own sanity and keep my health
I tried to bring a few with me hoping we could cash in
But all they did was tell me I ain't do it in a timely fashion
Tell music she changed me when shit was adverse
My first love I hid my life so she could have hers
Tell my freinds each one they taught me how to be one
I owe them part of everythin I become
Tell fame I ain't want it now I keep it one hundred
I tried my best to go and get it but the nigga fronted
I lie dormant
Livin through torment
Tell cops I got warrants I don't warrant
Tell the therapist look I never thought id get here
Somebody ask love why she wanna live here
So in this place there's alotta pride
Anybody thinkin they know my I apologize
Grandpas 80 plus still bein strong
Tell the fake niggas keep on keepin on
Faithfully tell everybody who hated me
Hastiley all it ever did was motivated me
They say I'm difficult so to put it simply
Tell the world I never cared who was against me
Tell god to be there incase I fall
Tell the fans I never gypted em always gave em my all
Tell my girl she put me throguth it
But if I had to go though it wit anyone I'm thankful its her
Tell everymember of my family
For to long I hid behind my own insanity
It got me caught up
And somebosy tell currensy I chased him to the death
Thought id catch the nigga till I ran outta breath
Tell my bruises I'm fine I'm good I normally heal quick
Tell the rain to come down I need to feel it
I told a nigga gimme a hand but he wouldn't
I kept tellin myself I can untill I couldn't
If niggas wanna kill me tell em I already died
Tell anybody that'll listen I tried
Till the water ran dry
Tell the water to get the fuck outta my eyes
Tell the crust it tastes great but I much rather the pie
Ask success what I gotta do to succeed
And tell my twin brothers I look at them like my seeds
Y'all will be the mouths I feed
If a nigga ever tell me how to rid myself of some of this greed
I tell em that I'm grown but I ain't finish growin
Tell failure I ain't wanna get to know him
Tell the stickup kids to come and get me
Tell them stereotypes I tried them shits they didn't fit me
Tell whoever I wronged I apologize
They tell me there's bumps in the road but I gotta ride
They tell me I got alotta pride
I tell em how the fuck u gonna tell me what I got inside
Then they lecture a nigga
Tell me life is what you make it
That's when I tell em I beg to differ
ANGEL IN MY LIFE
Yo
Let's look behind the sarvaski crystals
Behind the .50 calibers and the pistols
Misused, pardoned self gotta excuse my issues
For me to have you a ritual
But i aint as crazy as i seem to be
It's just that nothing is the way that is seem's to me
Im feeling less then, Druggin him up with anti depressents
In essence im threatenin my character asessment
Truth told
I figure a few ho's mixed with some new clothes should cover my loop holes
If i'm misundersttod or mis-guided
Started when they passed the L' said just try it
When i dont wanna get outta bed i just fight it
Sometimes i dont eat for days i just diet
Only live once so if i just like it
I aint even checkin the price i just buy shit
I'm thinkin that will just hide it
But all it takes is life to ignite shit
I'm thinkin bout' death wondering how i'm gonna go
I cant be insane for just wantin to know
In my head i die often, I used to think of suicide often
Good suit on and a nice coffin
But that aint something i would try myself
Still they lock me in this room all by myself
I need a... Think i need a .....
Hook
They say my symptoms are aggresive
They titled me a compulsive obsessive slash manic depressive
They trying to tell im a con and i game niggas
That's one reason i dont even entertain niggas
Not important who they are i wont name niggas
They like to say i got a tendencie to blame niggas
I keep fuckin shit up but keep trying
If ya'll would just trust me i wouldn't just keep lying
If i had bread i wouldn't be in debt
Let me clarify gettin in deaf ??
I feel like everytime i been less
When ever i invest whenever i inset i feel im innept
I try to make them understand but they just wont incept
I tell them 4 million others i am ???????????
There aint no book that tells a story there aint no index
We got some different type of cuts and no they aint princess
All this indigest seemingly in less
How i take in stress when i always went best
Aching in my chest and yet it still wont break me
They say the room is padded for my own safety
But the cushion dont soften shit
They locked the door but still they let my thoughts in it
And no one can tell me why im here
I cant even see the sky from here
I guess my time is near
PRAY FOR ME
Look...
I woke up without a heart beat
But, I remember we was just in the car deep
Was at a light, and got approached by a car thief
He pulled out but didn't ask for no car keys
A loud noise without a voice but i'm tryna scream out...shit is not fair
I can't tell you where i'm at or how I got here
Surrounded by all white, maybe it's just cloudy
Escorted by two men who knew everything about me
Both of 'em so strong, kept sayin' hold on
Feel like my soul's gone...naked no clothes on
I know this can't be my fate, I scream wait
As they drop me in front of a gate
They left no trace...I can see my every breath
Like a cold day, stood in front a man with no face
He said to me "please dont make this any harder"
Who the fuck is you? "my child i'm your Father"
I only got one dad "is that a fact to you?"
"He left you when you was young, I brought him back to you"
"You're real close to heaven, few get to step in"
"Now tell me what you've done to deserve to be let in"
Look i'm far from a Christian, not big on religion
But ain't done too much wrong my entire time livin'
Never killed, never tried to...though I been lied to
Was once suicidal, never read the Bible
I always been a caretaker, tried to nurse people
At times it back fired...hurt people, hurt people
Plus I never used your name in vain
But you should know everything I'm bein' asked explained
"I know you stole from your mother's purse"
You can't count that, that was way back when
"It's still a sin" ...but I was ten
"You robbed peoples' stores" Yeah, and YOU made me see jail
"But I also seen you lay your hands on a female"
"Sold drugs to parents, none of that was needed"
"Abandoned your child, on every girl you cheated"
"Done wrong to people that only want the best for you"
"Anytime you thought you were alone, I was next to you"
When it comes to baby moms...God you gave me the worst one
"But that was your second child Joe...you shouldn't have killed the first one"
I ain't have a job...ain't have a pot to piss in
"Look I gave you a gift, and you made the wrong decision"
"Held on to resentments, even in doin' business"
"I lead by example, I teach forgiveness"
"Your entry...cannot be guaranteed"
"Not when you live with anger, envy, greed"
"Pride, sloth, lust even glutony"
"Everything you shouldn't if you would've joined my covenant"
Look i'm only human, I ain't perfect "That I understand"
"When I take you out a jam, you don't even think to worship"
"And when you do...you never talk about what...
"...You can do for me, it's what I can do for you"
"I blessed you with health, family and wealth"
"But all the blessings you've received...you still always want help"
Yeah there's been times in my life I needed help to make money
But why everything I love, you manage to take from me
Yet you stand there and question a nigga that tries hard
And finds a way when you keep dealin' him fucked up cards
You make mistakes like me, far as I can see
I think it's a mockery whenever rich niggas win the lottery
Gave us Bush twice, God I hate to be rude
But you let skinny niggas starve, give obese niggas food
The nerve of you tellin' me I dont deserve to stay here
When you gave us drugs and guns, you put AIDs here
Take a look at chu, your actions are cold hearted
The harsh shit is you bring babies in the world retarded
I know most my actions put me in a cell
Now how you mad at me when you put me in the Hell?
"See my child, you need gratitude, maybe just a sample"
"I never give a person anything he can't handle"
"Don't tell me 'bout everything you had to go through"
"There's reasons for my actions even if I never showed you"
"Kept tryin' wit chu, all you did was hurt me"
"Still gave you chances to prove that you was worthy"
"And so I sat wit chu on a train"
"I asked you for change, you kept callin' me names"
"Prolly didn't notice, I was a store clerk"
"You put the gun to me, get money for more work"
"My child, I know you have it in you to indeed stop"
"This is not your final calling, just a brief stop"
"Hope you heed my words and understand"
"So when I see you back, you should be a better man"
"Look at life different, the next time we see each other"
"There'll be no need to talk, whenever we meet each other"